please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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