lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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