glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
