Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Fuck appropriateness.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Randomize
