Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
