Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
