I murdered the dance floor call the cops
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
