matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
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