weddingsv make me drug and hornr
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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