Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
