The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
