I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
