i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Can I color on your dick again?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
