I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
