The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
