part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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