Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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