We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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