The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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