He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
