Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i would punch a child for taco bell
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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