Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
you made out with another girl for some wings
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
