yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
