Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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