I think im going to throw up on grandma
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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