Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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