So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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