Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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