we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
