Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
