Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize