That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
