8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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