she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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