Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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