And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
