just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
