Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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