I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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