be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
