Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize