I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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