The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.