I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize