i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
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