period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
