This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
