why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
