he puts the penis in happiness.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
