Who did Billy Mays play for?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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