Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
