How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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