I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You work out of a Hotel?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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