i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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