Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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