I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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