I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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