Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize