You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
