Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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