whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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