My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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